Crump Man: Carlos Zambrano- because he punched Michael Barrett in the face for calling a bad game behind the plate, causing him to get traded.
Xavier Hutchinson: Kevin Youkilis- "Hey Youk, your team is up 11-2, no reason to slam your helmet into the ground and go into a 'roid rage because you're 0 for 4 with 3 strikeouts and a GIDP."
The Flying Murino: AJ Pierzynski- just because he seems like a douchebag
The Sherm- Any Red Sox player
Turd Burglar- Jay Buhner Because he's bald, ugly, and he looks like John Malkovich.
Pods- Pat Burrell- because he kills the Mets