Monday, May 5, 2008

Cliff Notes: Monday, May 5 2008

I'm so glad it's Monday. I'd rather be sleeping than writing this, just to let you know. Let's get to the weekend events.

The Big Winners

Celtics, Hornets, Penguins, Flyers

The Important Stuff

-I'd like to welcome Mr. Kevin Garnett to the 2nd round of the playoffs! The Celtics rolled to a 99-65 win over the Hawks. Did someone tell Atlanta that it was Game 7 and it could've pulled off one of the biggest upsets in NBA History?

-The Hornets were dominant, winning Game 1 against the Spurs 101-82. Chris Paul had 17 points. Wait, Chris Paul only had 17?

-Cedric Benson failed a sobriety test while boating over the weekend. He was also pepper sprayed and dragged to shore after resisting arrest. I guess no one told police that the easiest way to get Benson to the ground is to just give him a football.

-The whole Marvin Harrison situation is just weird. He was involved in a shooting of some sort. Hey Marvin, stop hanging with Ray Lewis. And Pacman Jones.

-The Stars and Sharks took 4 OTs, but Dallas advanced with a 2-1 win. They should've settled things the way they did in the 2002 MLB All-Star Game.

The Awards

-The "I stole Phil Hughes' stuff" award goes to Darrell Rasner, for allowing only two runs in an 8-2 win over Seattle.

-The "Damnit Toronto, stop stealing B.J. Ryan's saves" award goes to Scott Downs, for registering his third save Sunday for the Blue Jays.

-The "Former NY Governor Spitzer" award goes to soccer star Ronaldo. I shouldn't even have to explain why he gets the honor.

What to Watch For Tonight

-The Diamondbacks start everyone's favorite new fantasy baseball pitcher, Max Scherzer. I predict two innings, seven runs allowed. Finally, Oliver Perez and Chad Billingsley race to see who will be the first to walk ten batters.

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