Where in the World is Lebron James?

I'm just going to get this out in the open.

Last night's Cavs-Celts game was the worst basketball game I have ever seen. EVER.

It was by far the must frustrating offensive, or lack of offensive, game I have ever sat through. Neither team could go on a run to put the other away, and there was absolutely no flow throughout. The game began with an easy layup from who else but Lebron James. He wouldn't hit another field goal until the 4th quarter. Which poses the question...

Where in the world is Lebron James?

Let's forget that he went 2-18 last night from the field, but focus on the fact that he had 10 turnovers, in his worst playoff game ever. Actually, it's the 2nd worst turnover rate by a player in a playoff game, of all time! (11 is the most). What was wrong with Lebron? Early round jitters? Doubtful. Injured? No. Out drinking last night? Probably. Which poses another question...

Where in the world is Paul Pierce and Ray Allen?

They must have been out with Lebron. Ray Allen had 0 points, the first time in 852 games. Pierce finished 2-14. The only 2 players who actually had great games were Garnett and Ilgauskas, with 28 points and 20 points respectively. If these players didn't put up big numbers, the final score might have been 52-48.

I sincerely hope that this isn't the bar set for this highly anticipated series. Hopefully in Game 2 we see the dominating Lebron we're used to, and a higher scoring game.

Doc Rivers said this after the game. "This is gonna be Knicks-Heat, or Knicks-Bulls."

Don't forget DOC, if that is your real name, you guys won 17 games last year. I can't wait until Lebron turns it on. Because when that happens you are all in big, big trouble.

Ouchie at the Derby

It was a hot day in Barcelona 1992. The day of the big race. Derek Redmond had traveled halfway across the world with his father in order to participate in his fist summer Olympics. He had been training his entire life for this.

175 meters left in the race Redmond felt his hamstring explode. He collapsed. His father and best friend jumped out of the stands, picked him up, and helped him cross the finish line, shooing away the stretchers.

As the two cross the finish line they embrace and shed some tears. Thousands of fans cheer in the background.

A doctor then appears almost out of nowhere. He is holding a large needle. Redmond says his goodbyes to his father and goes toward the doctor. The needle punctures Derek's skin and Redmond quietly passes away...

Okay, only about half of this story is true.

But this isn't that much of a fantasy story. This weekend at the biggest horse racing event of the year, runner-up Eight Belles was "euthanized" right on the track after breaking both her ankles soon after she finished.

Does anyone else find this funny???

Well maybe not 'haha' funny, but ironic funny. In what other sport do you see a living thing being killed on the track after it breaks a bone? Would they do it to humans? Other animals?

I mean I know the horse was in a lot of pain and would probably never race again, but I'm sure they could have found SOME use for her in the future. Hauling a plow, rides at a carnival, re-enacting old episodes of Mr. Ed, or even being used as a very solid punching bag, are 4 great suggestions.

After the race trainer Larry Jones (also the winner of the generic name award), said that he doesn't blame the sport for this, even though this is the third death of a popular horse in the past 3 years! Seeing a trend here? I am.

Horse racing is clearly dangerous to, well, horses. Until very recently giving steroids to horses was LEGAL in horse racing. Obviously these steroids are not good for the health of the horse, making the upper body too large, but the legs too weak.

Do these animals have a say in this? What if they don't want to be race horses and want to other things with their lives? My dad wanted me to be a lawyer, I said no, and the conversation was over. I guess horses aren't so lucky.

The on-call vet who performed the killing, said that this injury is uncommon. He then noted that he was traveling straight to Game 1 of the Cavs game in case Lebron goes down next.

Picks of the Night

Cleveland Cavaliers @ Washington Wizards
ESPN2 7:00pm

Cleveland Cavaliers+4.5

I just have 1 word for this pick. Lebron. This is a gut bet. I really feel that Lebron is pissed off at allowing the Cavs blow a 5 point lead with a 1:30 left and letting the Wizards steal Game 5. Let's face it, these are two average teams, either of which will probably lose in the next round. I just have a huge man-crush on Lebron and feel that it is over tonight. This game is going to be extremely close, but I think the Cavs will pull it out, or at least cover the spread.

Final Score: 104-98 Cavs

Boston Celtics @ Atlanta Hawks
ESPN 8:00pm

Boston Celtics -8

Okay joke's over. Yes the Hawks won their home games (the main reason this spread is so low) but the Celts have seen the light and are going to blow out the Hawks. Remember, this is a Hawks team who finished the season 37-45. The last time this team was even .500 was when they were 18-18. The only thing that might get in the Celt's way is Josh Childress' afro. Other than that, this is going to be a blowout.

Final Score: 102-84 Celts

Houston Rockets @ Utah Jazz
ESPN 10:30pm

Houston +7.5

I think this is going to be the best game of the series. T-Mac, a perennial 1st round exiter, is going to have a big game. Since losing their star center, this team has shown a lot of heart, especially down the stretch. Granted, they are playing the Jazz in SLC, a place that no team in the NBA can win at, but I think their pride is at stake. This is a very weird bet because I think the Rockets are still going to lose. Utah is too strong and too good, and being at home just gives them a huge advantage.

I just feel that this game is going down to the wire, with the better team finishing off the series at home. I have a gut feeling that the game is going to come down to a final shot. However that shot rolls, is in the hands of God.

Final Score: 94-91 Utah

Pick of The Night

Hey Y'all,

Once we organize the site better the sports betting aspect of this blog will be in full effect and have it's own section. Until then bet away and make some moolah!!!

Detroit Pistons -5.5

The 76ers have run their course. They picked up 2 fluke wins, and now the series is about to end. The fact that the 76ers have home court is meaningless. After the 17 point shalacking on Tuesday, the time off only helped to build the confidence of Detroit. The 76ers lack of defensive players will not be able to stop the all-around talent that the Pistons incur.

Final score: 92-81 Detroit

8pm TNT

Poor Avery Johnson

Earlier this week, exceptional coach Avery Johnson was unfairly fired by constantly outspoken Mark Cuban and others from the Dallas Mavericks orginization.

Why?

Johnson, who coached 3 full seasons for the Mavs took them to the playoffs all 3 years and boasted a 178-68 record in those 3 years. This included a franchise-best record in the 06-07 season with a 67-15 record, and a trip to the NBA finals. Yes, they had an extremely disappointing loss in the first round to the below-average Golden State Warriors, but come on it's just one series.

This year, with another early exit to the playoffs, a series where they were plainly overmatched and outskilled, was again not Avery's fault. It was the lack of effort on the court, and the terrible signing of Jason Kidd during the season. Also that him and Josh Howard smoked too much pot before the series.

Avery Johnson was not happy with his firing, as most coaches are not. And he shouldn't be. As one of the better coaches in the NBA in the past few years, the Mavs orginization made another blunder for their team. As a Mark Cuban fan, I think he is majorly screwing up this team, and possibly devastating a franchise that just recently pulled itself out of the gutter.

Avery Johnson is the best option to coach the Mavs next year, and there are no other coaches available right now that could do a better job.

Unless of course they hire Pat Riley.

THE CLOWN OF THE WEEK AWARD

This is a new award ceremony which will be updated weekly where we commemorate the biggest 'clown' of the week.

This week we honor the biggest cry baby in the NBA:

Jason Kidd

Over the years we've seen Mr. Kidd earn more triple doubles then anyone. We have also seen him cry and complain all the live long day.

We could give him the award for that.

We could also give the award to him for being part of a spouse abuse scandal. Once in 2001 where he beat his wife, and was arrested for it, and the other last year where his wife beat him!! Yes, that's right, Mr. Kidd is a battered husband. What a lovely home that is.

We could also give the award to him for comments made right before being traded from the Nets:

"It used to be if I got a triple-double, that was an automatic win," he said. "That's just not the case now. "

WOW, you are the man, Mr. Kidd. I mean you could be the greatest athlete of all time, you fucking pompous prick.

We could also give this award to Mr. Kidd for bringing a high-flying Mavericks team (35-18 before the trade) to an extremely average club (16-13 after the trade), 3 days from being knocked out of the first round.

But we're not.

We are giving this weekly prestigious award to Mr. Kidd for his flagrant 2 foul on Jannero Pargo in Game 4 with 7:16 left in the game, and down by 13. Clearly out of frustration, this clown not only grabs the ball but the entire head of Pargo slamming him onto the floor. His comment after...

"I just tried to foul Pargo, I wasn't trying to hurt him and they called a flagrant two. ... I was just trying to stop him from getting an easy layup."

Stop the layup?! You grabbed his head, you moron. I know both are round, but one is orange and one is black. You knew what you were doing, you scumbag. Mr. Kidd, just be happy you aren't suspended for Game 5.

And congratulations for receiving this award. I hope you get hit by a car on your way to pick it up.

Where have all the great sports movies gone?

I used to live in a place where sports movies were great. Where a trip to the movies was an exciting and entertaining time. And popping a VHS provided 120 minutes of laughter, sadness, or triumph. Sometimes all of the above.

Then it was over.

For many decades movies depicting real life events, biographies of famed athletes, and even fictional incidents were the threshold into how great sports really are. Through the years, us moviegoers have experienced so many emotions at the local movie theater.

Then it was over.

For me, it began as a wide eyed boy at Easy Video. Browsing through the aisles looking for something to accomodate my need for entertainment. I landed on Major League as a young lad and instantly fell in love. The brash and bold depiction of major league baseball and the exaggeration that followed was gold. From then on, I went before my time and rented as many sports movies as I could find. The Bad News Bears, Slapshot, and Caddyshack instantly jumped on my top lists. After renting all the comedic sports movies that were listed as classic, I went to the dramatic ones. Field of Dreams, Rudy, The Program.

As I was renting these movies every weekend, more great movies were appearing in the theater. Even no-talent actors such as Adam Sandler, Kevin Costner, even Michael Jordon were creating great sports movies, each in their own way.

Then it was over.

As time went on and the 90s, the best decade for sports movies in this bloggers opinion, ended, so did ideas for sports movies. There was no explanation for this lack of creativity or even research for old sports stories. It just ended. Abruptly. I mean come on, a great movie was created about Jamaican bobsledders! And suddenly there are no more ideas?? Instead we are left with a story about a retarded boy working on a college football team.

Even when great ideas for movies arise, such as the tragic events of Marshall University, we are left with Hollywood garbage, ruined by hacks such as McG or Richard Tollin.

Even when we take big name actors such as Will Ferrell and Woody Harrelson and put them in a basketball movie about the ABA, it turns into garbage.

No, not every sports movie in the past few years has been bad. We have been blessed with such gems as Miracle, Cinderella Man, and Ali.

But why did these movies underachieve at the box office? Has the movie-goer lost interest in the sports genre? Has Hollywood put out too many busts in the past 10 years that people think its over?

I certainly hope not.