Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Bye Bye Barry...

Jeff Borris, Barry Bond’s agent says, "No team has made me an offer for any amount at any time since Barry became a free agent."

First of all, Jeff Borris is a douche bag… Secondly, why would any team with any respect for itself want to sign a 44 year old, steroid freak, media circus?

Now, the MLBPA has launched some cockamamie investigation into the Major League Baseball Owners, to see if they are colluding to not sign free agents like Barry Bonds, Kenny Lofton, and Sammy Sosa. This is pretty hilarious. Does the players association REALLY think the owners are colluding against Barry Bonds? Or, are they just doing this because Bonds is in a union, and they just have to? I mean, Bonds can still hit: 28 homers in 340 at bats is actually really good. But, it doesn’t take an idiot to realize that no team is going to sign Bonds for $15 million a year to play DH. He can’t play the field anymore, so that eliminates the entire National League, but I decided to go through a few teams that may actually take chance on the all time home run king…

  • Seattle Mariners
    • The Mariners are off to a very slow start in ’08 and really don’t have that much pop in their lineup. Ichiro is a fantastic player but has no power, and outside of Adrian Beltre Raul Ibanez and maybe Richie Sexon, they don’t have any hitters that pitchers fear. They don’t have a DH, and could absolutely use a left handed power bat. The only thing stopping them from signing him (besides the absolute media circus he brings), is the money that Bonds and Borris will demand. Ichiro, Sexon, Beltre, Carlos Silva, Ibanez, and Erik Bedard make almost $100million combined. The Mariners are a fairly small market team, and unless he comes at an extreme discount (doubtful!), I don’t see the Mariners signing Bonds. However, if they are 10 games out of first in a month or two and continue to not score runs, it is possible we could see Barry Lamar Bonds in Seattle.
      • Chance they sign Bonds: 45%
  • Detroit Tigers
    • Everyone’s favorite pick to win it all before the season has been very up and down so far this year. Their pitching is bad, and their supposedly amazing offense has been very inconsistent. If they want to shake things up with this team, signing Bonds might make sense. Plus, their DH, Gary Sheffield looks like he might be nearing the end of his career. Truth is, this team should be trying to improve their pitching instead of signing Bonds, but desperate times come for desperate measures.
      • Chance they sign Bonds: 40%
  • Oakland Athletics
    • Despite their hot start, the A’s lineup does not scare me at all. Emil Brown is a fraud, Daric Barton is too young, Kurt Suzuki might bat .300 but he’ll have 5 homers, Bobby Crosby will get hurt, and Jack Cust stopped using roids. Also, Oakland’s proximity to San Francisco would be good for Barry because the fans would actually like him. However, the A’s did just sign Frank Thomas to be a DH and the A’s are actually winning. Who knows with Billy Beane and his stupid Money Ball tactics though? He LOVES Barry Bonds!
      • Chances they sign Bonds: 35%
  • Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays
    • No one really thinks this team can stay in contention for too long, so adding a big bat like Bonds might make sense in the short run. Their DH, Cliff Floyd is hurt (like always), and the middle of their lineup is void of any real power threat not named Carlos Pena. Signing Bonds might actually allow this team to contend for a little bit, and will give them the national attention that they sorely lack. However, in the long run, signing Bonds is a BAD idea for this team. He would immediately be the highest paid player on the team, and would ruin the team chemistry that seems to be growing with them every year. I doubt young stars like BJ Upton and Carl Crawford want to be answering questions about Barry after every game.
      • Chances they sign Bonds: 25%
  • New York Yankees
    • With Arod and Posada out, the Yankees lineup is really short right now. If these two guys miss any real length of time, and the Yankees are hovering around .500 at the all star break, Hank Steinbrenner might freak out and become his father. Back in the day, George probably would have signed Bonds already. But, with this being the last year at Yankees Stadium and the Yankees already aging, it is doubtful that Barry will ever be in pinstripes.
      • Chances they sign Bonds: 10%

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