Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Letter to Fantasy Football

Dear Fantasy Football Season,

Why do you have to cause stress, angst, and bring me headaches every single week? I draft a powerhouse team, but look up at the end of the season, and somehow find myself 6-7? I specifically would like to point out these following players.

Joseph Addai: Not only do I make a trade pre-draft to pick you, but I ignore drafting another running back for about six rounds because you will dominant. Now, 16 weeks later, I am begging the fantasy football gods that you are out for Week 16.

Braylon Edwards: So during my trading up to get Joseph Addai, I traded out of the 2nd round spot that I would have chosen you with. Luckily, you stink for half the season. I decide "Hey, lets buy Braylon Edwards while his value is low." So I trade for you. Now I say to myself "Hey, will you please not drop another 10 balls."

Santonio Holmes: Not many people have talked about you, but you have not been good. Should we blame it on your QB who has forgotten how to run? Or should we blame it on the fact that you decided to smoke pot and get caught during the season? No, I blame it on the fact that you have Braylon Edwards syndrome and you have yet to have a 100-yard game this season.

Kellen Winslow: Ahh, I thought you would be a steal. At a position with not much depth, getting you in the later rounds was a gift. How many tight ends can give me 25-point fantasy games? Maybe two? And then you decide to talk out against your organization, hurt your shoulder, sprain your ankle, and pretty much end your season. And to think you would be a model citizen whose injuries were behind him.

Chad Johnson: I think the best thing would be to just not say anything at all about him. "Ocho Cinco" stands for your total fantasy points this season.

You look at this team preseason and go "Hey, there's some potential there." But alas, it was a complete and utter mess. I should have been like 3-10. I won one week on a late touchdown by Wes Welker(one of only two TDs from him all season) and possibly won because my opponent thought that Tony Scheffler was active even though he wasn't. And to top it all off, I lost to my own girlfriend(Yes, she plays fantasy football. I guess you can mark that as a positive)

But somehow, I find myself in the championship. Maybe I will give credit to Welker, Kurt Warner, and Dwayne Bowe for picking my team up. Or for two big games from Dominic Rhodes after the fantasy gods answered my prayers and magically gave Addai further injuries.

In my own arrogant way, I would like to think I made some brilliant decisions and used my fantasy expertize to navigate my way to a championship game(Hey, I've made four straight-fantasy football title games, two with my current league and two with my former league. I left that league after I was never paid my fantasy winnings).

But alas, however you look at it, however much stress you give me, I love fantasy sports. And I hope to get headaches from it for years to come.


Richard Belding(Yes, that is my team name)


Jonathan said...

Did we have the same team? I had Addai, Holmes, Ocho Cinco, Edwards, Welker, and Bowe as well. Somehow, through trades and free agency, I made the playoffs...then got crushed in the first round.

Anonymous said...

I had Addai, Holmes, and Johnson on my team. And I also lost to my girlfriend one week. But I won the league.

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