Cliff Notes: Friday, May 9 2008

If you live on the East Coast, this question will make sense to you: Why does it always rain on Friday and Saturday? And if you watch Lost, this question will always make sense to you: What the hell is going on?

The Winners

-Spurs, Celtics, Red Wings, Haters of Lebron James

The Important Stuff

-Spurs and Celtics start slow, but take care of business in victories.

My Take: The Spurs obviously needed the win. They let Chris Paul do what he wanted, but limited Peja Stojakovic to eight points. Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili each scored 31. It's a series again. As for the Celtics, they are clearly better than the Cavs. If Lebron is off, Cleveland has no chance (and he's been very off). Game 3 is a must win for the Cavs.

-Brandon Webb improves to 8-0.

My Take: When the game's top pitchers are talked about, I hear names like Santana and Peavy more often than Webb. But with Webb, Arizona has an absolute bull that can go nine innings. With Webb, Haren, Owings, Johnson, and now Scherzer, the Diamondbacks are the team to beat not just in the National League, but in the major leagues.

The Stupid Stuff

-The Dallas Cowboys will be featured on HBO's Hard Knocks, a series that depicts what an NFL Training Camp is like.

My Take: I love this show. It takes you through the difficulties of making it through NFL Training Camp. But if you are the Cowboys, and you've had situations like the Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson and anyhing Terrell Owens does, why put yourselves in the spotlight again? Plus, teams that appear on this show have tended to underachieve(i.e. Last year's Kansas City Chiefs).

The Awards

-The "Most Added Pitchers to Fantasy Teams" award goes to both Edwin Jackson and Daniel Cabrera. The two combined to allow one run in 17 innings. Cabrera allowed only three hits in a complete game victory while Jackson went eight scoreless but didn't get the decision. These two are the same exact pitcher. When they are on, they will dominant, but more often then not, they will walk the ball park.

-The "Cheap Win" award goes to Manny Acosta, who threw all of three pitches and ended up in the victory column. The Braves used six pitchers before him, but somehow, Acosta was the one who came away with the victory.

What to Watch For Tonight

-Utah looks to pull within a game against the Lakers. And I didn't even realize hockey was on, so Flyers/Penguins it is. And of course, the return of Kei Igawa! Yes!

Cliff Notes: Thursday, May 8 2008

Time to make some changes to the format. Ch, Ch, Changessssss.

The Winners

-Lakers, Magic

The Important Stuff

-Kobe Bryant scores 34 points as the Lakers in 120-110 over Utah.

My Take: Lakers are clearly the more talented team. They have set themselves up beautifully, as they only need to win one of the next two games at Utah to gain full advantage. Utah can't let Los Angeles jump out to a 15-point first quarter lead. The Lakers are tought o comeback against to begin with, but Utah doesn't strike me as a team that can comeback. 30 personal fouls doesn't help the Jazz's cause.

-The Magic make it a series, defeating the Pistons 111-86.

My Take: Rashard Lewis scores 33 points as Orlando started the game well and closed the game out. Lewis has the ability to put up points and needs to take control like he did last night. It helps to shoot 45% from 3-point land as well. Billups hurts his hammy, and if he is out for any length of time, the advantage has to go to Orlando (especially Game 4 at home).

-Former Patriot employee Matt Walsh sends the NFL video of the Patriots taping other teams' signals between 2000 and 2002.

My Take: I mean, I don't know what the NFL is going to do if it finds anymore wrongdoing. Can you dock more draft picks? Can you fine them anymore money? It's a real bad situation for both the league and the Patriots. They didn't even have to do any of that, because they were clearly the best team in those years.

-Joey Votto homers three times while Carlos Gomez hits for the cycle

My Take: Votto is going to be a big-time power hitter and could even hit 25 HRs this year. Gomez is going to have his up-and-down games. If he develops like the Twins think he could, they have a keeper.

The Stupid Stuff

-Barry Zito falls to 0-7

My Take: Allowing two runs in five innings shouldn't be considered a "step in the right direction." He was still lobbing the ball over the plate. I don't know what you can do with this guy. He's awful.

The Awards

-The "Maybe they are better than we thought" award goes to Cliff Lee, Edinson Volquez, Shaun Marcum, Livan Hernandez, and Zack Grienke, who all dominated in victories last night.

-The "Todd Jones" award goes to Jonathan Papelbon, who suffered a blown save in a 10-9 loss to the Tigers. Detroit blew an 8-4 lead themselves, but find a way to win. Ironically, Jones got the win in the game.

What to Watch For Tonight

-Cleveland and Boston should be good. Hopefully one of these teams can score over 50 points tonight. Beckett/Verlander hook up to see who breaks the radar gun.

Cliff Notes: Wednesday, May 7 2008

The Winners

-Celtics, Sidney Ponson

The Important Stuff

-The Celtics/Cavs game was ugly, but Boston eeked out a 76-72 win. In lieu of running away with our poll question, Lebron James celebrated by having his worst game of the playoffs (12 pts, 10 TOs).

-Rick Carlisle to the Mavericks? Mike D'Antoni to the Bulls? Why is no one interviewing Herb Williams?

-The altered Cedric Benson report details him being drunk and confused. That's how most Giants fans get after a Barry Zito start.

-The shocker: Joba Chamberlain blows a game! Joba allowed a three-run go-ahead HR as the Indians defeat the Yankees 5-3. Joba now joins this list of players who have blown games:

1) Every relief pitcher who has ever played Major League Baseball.

The Stupid Stuff

-The horse that died at the Kentucky Derby (Eight Bells) has been accused of taking steroids. It's trainer demands a drug test be taken. Let me get this straight. It's more urgent to test a horse for steroids than it is to have tested Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa for steroids.

The Awards

-The "I was a complete mental case last year, but now I am a great pitcher" award goes to Scott Olsen, who threw 8 2/3 innings of two-hit ball to improve to 4-1.

-The "I'm king of the world!" award goes to David Delucci, who was the lucky one to have homered off of Joba Chamberlain.

-The "Let's just mail it in the rest of the season" award goes to the Detroit Tigers.

What to Watch for Tonight

-I guess the Pistons' and Lakers' games are watchable. Although why watch something that you know the ending to?

Cliff Notes: Tuesday, May 6 2008

Hillary and Barack battle for 189 delegates tonight. I say they settle it in a Best-of-3 Scrabble competition. Is Lewinsky a valid word?

The Winners

-Pistons, Hornets

The Important Stuff

-What is wrong with the Spurs? After getting beaten again, San Antonio is now down 2-0 to the Hornets. I think we should consider electing Chris Paul as our President. He certainly knows how to be a leader.

-Did you really think the Magic had a chance?

-Dice-K walked eight batters and still found a way to lead Boston to a 6-3 win over Detroit. After the game, Hideki Irabu was seen taking off a Matsuzaka jersey.

-Speaking of Detroit, it shook things up by getting rid of Jacque Jones. Raise your hand if you knew Jacque Jones was still in the majors. Anyone?

The Stupid Stuff

-Jamie Moyer out duels Max Scherzer. Hahahahhaha.

The Awards

-The "Rob Deer" award goes to Richie Sexson, who hit his 7th HR this season. It's good to see Sexson back to his 35 HRs and .215 batting average.

What to Watch for Tonight

-The Celtics/Cavs series is a must see. So is the Cubs/Reds, where Zambrano and Harang duel it out. I'm also curious to see Sidney Ponson act like he's a good pitcher.

Cliff Notes: Monday, May 5 2008

I'm so glad it's Monday. I'd rather be sleeping than writing this, just to let you know. Let's get to the weekend events.

The Big Winners

Celtics, Hornets, Penguins, Flyers

The Important Stuff

-I'd like to welcome Mr. Kevin Garnett to the 2nd round of the playoffs! The Celtics rolled to a 99-65 win over the Hawks. Did someone tell Atlanta that it was Game 7 and it could've pulled off one of the biggest upsets in NBA History?

-The Hornets were dominant, winning Game 1 against the Spurs 101-82. Chris Paul had 17 points. Wait, Chris Paul only had 17?

-Cedric Benson failed a sobriety test while boating over the weekend. He was also pepper sprayed and dragged to shore after resisting arrest. I guess no one told police that the easiest way to get Benson to the ground is to just give him a football.

-The whole Marvin Harrison situation is just weird. He was involved in a shooting of some sort. Hey Marvin, stop hanging with Ray Lewis. And Pacman Jones.

-The Stars and Sharks took 4 OTs, but Dallas advanced with a 2-1 win. They should've settled things the way they did in the 2002 MLB All-Star Game.

The Awards

-The "I stole Phil Hughes' stuff" award goes to Darrell Rasner, for allowing only two runs in an 8-2 win over Seattle.

-The "Damnit Toronto, stop stealing B.J. Ryan's saves" award goes to Scott Downs, for registering his third save Sunday for the Blue Jays.

-The "Former NY Governor Spitzer" award goes to soccer star Ronaldo. I shouldn't even have to explain why he gets the honor.

What to Watch For Tonight

-The Diamondbacks start everyone's favorite new fantasy baseball pitcher, Max Scherzer. I predict two innings, seven runs allowed. Finally, Oliver Perez and Chad Billingsley race to see who will be the first to walk ten batters.

Cliff Notes: Wednesday April 30, 2008

While 90% of you were finding bugs on the new Grand Theft Auto game and 9% of you were watching American Idol, very little went on in the world of sports.

-I guess Shaq did a lot for the Suns, who got bounced from the playoffs. Let's face it, the Spurs never get talked about and they always stroll along. Maybe the Suns will finally realize that defense will get you somewhere. A little ironic that to get Shaq though, they traded their best defensive player (Shawn Marion).

-Chris Paul is sick. A triple double? What? Are you serious? And he led his team to the next round, taking out the Mavericks. Let's take the modern day PGs for a second(1990-now). In their prime, how would you rank them? Here's how I put them:

1) Steve Nash: He's Chris Paul except a better scorer and as clutch as you can be. Never won a championship though, but I would argue that his team's were vastly overrated)

2) Chris Paul: Funny thing is that he isn't even near his peak! But he's insane to watch, and his speed and scoring ability is unreal.

3) John Stockton: He was a better scorer than even I give him credit for. But I don't know, something about him just couldn't have me put him over Paul.

4) Gary Payton: He will shut you down. He had a very stellar all-around game.

5) Jason Kidd: I think he peaked about 4 times. When you thought he was down and out, he'd do something to wow you.

-Now do you believe the Sixers have a chance? That's the sound of the bangwagon crashing.

-Oh yea, and the Rockets decided to make it a series with a win against the Jazz.

-My fellow bloggers will probably be furiously posting about the Rangers loss last night. My only comment is this: I know everyone loves the goalie (Hendrik Lundqvist, doubtful I spelt it correctly), but after allowing 22 goals in 5 games, maybe its time to stop drinking the love juice for him. See you next year Rangers, cause your not coming back.

-Okay, so Yankee land has learned that Posada is out for a little less than what they thought and A-Rod is out a little longer than what they thought. Look, I never thought you should give an upper 30's catcher a four-year deal, but this is what your going to get. This was the first time Posada was on the DL, and this won't be the last. As for A-Rod, he's had the most mirage of a season.You look at his stats and go "Okay, he's been solid." But if you watch the games, you know otherwise. But he's still A-Rod, and he will still ht 40 HRs. Enjoy Morgan Ensberg!

-Damn you John Smoltz! I trade a good outfielder for a closer in my fantasy baseball league, and now you might come back form the disabled list as a closer. Damn you and making me draft you thinking that your a young 40! Sorry, had to rant.

-The "Why the hell is this pitcher still playing baseball yet doing well" award for today goes to Joel Piniero. You have no business with an ERA under 10.

-The "Why the hell is this pitcher still in the majors and getting saves" award goes to Eric Gagne, who somehow has 8 saves. Shave your stupid beard Gagne!

-What to watch for tonight: I'll give you two. Hawks visit the Celtics. If the Hawks win, I might buy a Mookie Blaylock jersey. And second, Dana Eveland and Ervin Santana square off in a "Loser will be dropped by everyone who was stupid enough to pick them up in fantasy baseball" matchup.